Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
