Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize