The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
