Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
