if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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