At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
