awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
