I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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