Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
