Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
