you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
