He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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