DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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