If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize