I bet he comes in French.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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