I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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