Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
