dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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