sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
