No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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