after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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