I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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