Got a toothbrush?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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