you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
