I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
