Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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