I wannas sexs uuuuu
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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