dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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