i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
