If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
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