how can u be prego again
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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