Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize