On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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