He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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