I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
