I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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