He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
