The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
