as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
