I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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