He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
