I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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