What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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