my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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