home. puking in laundry basket.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize