I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
