i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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