I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
