a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize