Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
