white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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