'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
