Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize