So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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