i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
