i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
