In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
