when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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